Friday, 14 October 2011

Pro Tips for Coping.

Yes, just plain Coping. With a capital C. Because I am in the mood to create my own proper nouns.

The first week back at university has drawn to a close and now it is the glorious weekend. For some. Unfortunately I have several hours of seminar preparation ahead of me, and yet more hours of desperate job searching.

So this week has been relatively stressful, and has triggered some pretty big questions. Questions such as: "What the hell am I going to do?" (Wait, I think that is pretty much the only question...) And when I get wrapped up with the worry over something like this, practical matters usually go out the window. Matters such as... oh I don't know, turning up to lectures. Not that I intended to miss it, I had just mistaken the time and turned up an hour too late. Yeah. *Cue sighs of despair*

After a bit of minor (major) flailing at my understanding housemates I decided to be constructive about this. I have a blog - I will vent on my blog! But Seriously, more than that, I want to share a few pro tips on Coping. Trust me, I'm pretty good at this!

Rachel's Pro tips for Coping

First of all , fall apart. Seriously. Allow yourself to have a moment when you aren't a pillar of strength. Pretending to stay strong will only be detrimental to your overall recovery! And (in my opinion) admitting defeat, if only briefly, makes you stronger. You can't win everything after all.

('Woman in the Clouds' By Rachel Evans. All Rights Reserved)

Have a mope. But treat this with caution. There is healthy moping, then there is self-obsessive narcissism and not moving on. I think people should be allowed to feel sorry for themselves a little. As long as it isn't taken to the extreme and you know when to stop and buck up, then it can work to your advantage as you will have worked it all out of your system.

Do something constructive. Write a blog post *cheeky wink*, make a cake, take the dog for a walk, anything that will snap you out of your moping stage. It will also make you feel less like a failure!

('Solar and Lunar' By Rachel Evans, All Rights Reserved.)

Analyse what went wrong. Once you are ready to face the situation again, try to look at it objectively. Work out what you did and how it could have been handled better. For example, in my haste today I did not double check my new and unfamiliar timetable. In future, I will. Sorted!

Take steps to resolve the problem This speaks for itself really. If the problem is legal, get legal advice, if it is relationships that are the issue, swallow any worries or pride and make the first move - whether it is accepted or not is down to the other person, and at least you can say you tried.

Finally, and most importantly, forgive yourself You must be kind to yourself. If someone else had done what you had done, you would tell them to get over it. And the best closure is achieved by forgiveness.

('Shooting Stars' By Rachel Evans, All Rights Reserved.)

After these steps have been taken I am usually ready to give things another go. The time-span varies depending on the size of the problem - for example, I am over missing the lecture, but I am still very worried about what I will now call The Big Question So I will probably mope a bit more, make something, vent a little to my poor friends, then take some steps to try and stop me from worrying. Like make an appointment with a Careers Adviser or something.

Good luck with your own coping!

♥ Rachel ♥

NB: These tips are my own personal coping techniques. I hold no responsibility over anything that may occur due to following them. Follow them of your own volition and accept what happens.

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